MY SEX DRIVE HAS DECREASED
Believe it or not, hypoactive sex drive (low sex drive) is the number one sexual complaint when it comes to women. So please do not think that you are alone or that something is drastically wrong with you if you hardly ever want to have sex. Women everywhere are experiencing the same thing. Alot of women just do not feel like having sex. I have listed a number of reasons that this extreme disinterest in sex could be happening to you.
PROBLEM: You and your partner fight all the time. Oftentimes if you are angry, hurt, or upset about something, sex is the last thing on your mind. It is during these times that you would rather vomit than have him/her climbing all on top of you.
SOLUTION: Try to get along better. If you just can’t do it, try to decrease your expectations about different aspects of the relationship so that you do not end up angry or frustrated when he/she disappoints you.
PROBLEM: If you are in pain all of the time, this will affect your sex drive. People who experience chronic pain usually do not feel very sexual. Sex is a very physical act and if your body starts to think that pain in associated with sex, your subconscious will try to avoid sex at all costs.
SOLUTION: Work with your physician on relaxation techniques and holistic ways to decrease pain.
PROBLEM: Any condition that makes it painful for you to have sex will affect your sex drive. Painful sex is called DYSPAREUNIA. Endometriosis, menopause, STDs, or low estrogen syndromes, are a few causes of painful intercourse. If your body associates sex with pain, of course your body will try to avoid it at all costs. This means that whenever sex comes up, your body will be ready to react to pain instead of sex and fear is a very un-sexy thing.
SOLUTION: You and your partner should work together to first become intimate without the expectation of sex. For a week, spend quality time caressing, stroking, and kissing in a non-sexual way. Make a pact to stay away from the sex organs ( breasts, nipples, vagina, penis, and anus ). After you get comfortable with each other’s bodies and with yourselves, then you can reintroduce sex into the relationship. When you guys get back to it, the connection will be deeper, you will be more relaxed, and the two of you will work together to decrease the pain. Your partner has to know sex is painful and you have to make an effort to work with him/her to make it less so.
PROBLEM: Any Condition Where Your Hormones are Off Balance. These hormones include, but are not limited to, your thyroid hormones, prolactin (the hormone that makes breast milk come out), estrogen (female hormones), and testosterone (the hormone responsible for your sex drive).
SOLUTION: Your family physician can screen and treat you for hormonal imbalances. This is especially important if you have had a hysterectomy, your ovaries removed, if thyroid disease runs in the family, if you take steroids a lot, are post-menopausal, are taking some form of birth control pills, are getting medically treated for endometriosis, have a pituitary tumor, hepatitis, kidney failure, depression, or are or have been on chemotherapy.
PROBLEM: You Have a Mind-Block (Psychosocial Issues). There are a number of reasons that your mind might avoid thoughts about having sex. Some of these reasons include: strict religious upbringing, problems being comfortable with intimacy, body image issues, sexual abuse as a child so now you avoid certain sexual situations, more interested in people of the opposite sex than the person you are with, fear of intimacy, fear of pregnancy or disease, thoughts that you don’t know what you are doing, and thoughts that your partner doesn’t know what they are doing.
SOLUTION: Work through your personal issues with the help of a trained professional, either by yourself, or with the help of your partner. Self-help books are very useful.
PROBLEM: You Might Be Taking Drugs or Some Form of Medication That Has Decreased Your Sex Drive. Click her to see a list.
SOLUTION: Ask your doctor to switch you to a medicine that will not have an effect on your sex drive.
