Someone Cheated But You Want to Stay Together: How to Move Past The Affair

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Sit down and draft written contracts that explicitly state what rules both of you promise to adhere to.  Each person should write their own and then the two of you can sit down and edit them together.  Eventually you will have a list of actions and standards that both parties will swear to stick to.

5) Plan a Group Visit to Your Family Physician.  The two of you should go together to your physician. Tell your doctor about the affair.  He/she will run a battery of STD checks on both of you and he/she will test you for HIV.  It is important that both of you get checked out because you never know what sexually transmitted diseases could have been passed between the two of you.  Your doctor can go over the test results and refer you to couple’s counseling if you think you need help to work through your issues.

This is an important step because it demonstrates that both of you are ready to make a fresh new start.

6) Start Back Being Intimate Soon After the Results Are In. If you wait too long to start back touching, hugging, and kissing each other, you might lose the desire to ever do so.  If you have made a commitment to make this relationship work, intimacy is an important part of it.  Show him/her that you are still in it. . .don’t just tell them.

7) Forgive, But Don’t Forget. The only way a relationship can recover from the sting of infidelity is if both parties forgive each other.  If you really want to continue with the relationship you have to understand that the past cannot be undone.  Things will never improve if you dwell on the past and what you shared will never blossom again if you expect the wounded partner to “just get over it,” and have instant faith in you and the relationship.  These things take time!