Someone Cheated But You Want to Stay Together: How to Move Past The Affair

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Sometimes it is easier to write these things down or send them in an email.  It is OK to reveal thoughts and feelings through written words, just make sure that the two of you discuss the letters immediately after reading them.  The two of you must make verbal commitments to work through the pain or else it will never happen.

3) Explain The Feelings & Events That Led to The Affair. Behind every affair is a reason.  The reason might be as simple as, “because I felt like it”, as complicated as, “because you never show my any affection,” or as brutal as, “because I think we got married when I was too young.”  Whatever the rationale might be, it is very important for the two of you to discuss the reasons why it happened.  If the two of you can begin to understand the “why?” behind the affair then you will increase your chances at reconciliation and forgiveness.

4) Create & Outline a Contract to Move Forward. Things will never be the same again.  The relationship that the two of you had prior to the discussion of an affair is gone forever.  Understand that you will never be able to recreate what was; instead you will have to create something that is even more special and fulfilling that what existed in the past.

In order to truly move on you will have to leave the past behind you.  The only things that you need to bring with you from the past is 1) the mutual love that has made you decide to try to work things out, 2) the information behind the “why?” of the affair, 3) and the knowledge that it could happen again.