Kids Should Get Sex Talk Early In Life
Teach Your Daughters Early and Daily About Sex & Sexual Relationships
1) How she sees her future is directly proportional to when a young lady will begin to have sex. If she thinks she’s destined for greatness then she will feel special enough to wait for a special moment. When she does begin to have sex she will then be more likely to make sure that it is with someone that she is in a relationship with, instead of with someone that pays her a nice complement.
2) It is your daughter’s relationship with her mom/or mom-substitute that will dictate when she decides to have sex. We used to think that it was the daughter’s relationship with her father that dictated how she would handle herself in sexual situations. So moms need to make a huge effort to communicate with the daughters openly about sex and sexual activity.
3) You have to talk to your daughters about your sexual values on a daily basis. Many parents believe that if they have mentioned sex once to their daughters or if they have told them not to do it once or twice, then they have talked to their daughters about sex. This is not the case. You have to tell your daughters that they are special and that you want them to wait until they are married or out of school to have sex. More importantly, you should discuss it with her frequently. Studies show that when daughters know that their moms want them to wait until they are older to start to have sex, then chances are they will start to have sex at a later age. At least they will consider it!
4) It is not enough to place your daughters on birth control at the age of sixteen. In urban populations the average age that kids start having sex is 13. This means that some start as early as 8 or 9 and others wait until they are in their teens. Since this is the case, you need to start talking to her about sex as early as five and six. Start during bathroom time. Tell her, this is your special area and it is called your vagina. You keep this to yourself. No one is supposed to touch or look down there. If they do, tell them to stop, then you tell me about it.
5) Kids are exposed to sex in music and television at very early ages. You cannot hide it from them. So deal with the fact that it is everywhere and you cannot be with her at all times, so teach her good lessons EVERYDAY about sex. If you repeat yourself over and over again, when you are not around she will still hear your lessons in her head.
6) Just because you had sex early, this doesn’t mean that she has to. Oftentimes women feel guilt when they try to get their daughters to do something that they themselves didn’t do. Even if you started having sex early, it is still appropriate for you to tell her that you think she should wait. But you have to communicate and talk to her about it instead of just preaching. And you HAVE TO let her know that you want her to wait and why you want her to wait. Most young ladies don’t realize that their moms want them to wait. But the interesting part is that those same young ladies’ mothers think that the message has been made perfectly clear.
7) Encourage her to engage extracurricular activities. This will not only give her something to do in her spare time, it will also help to keep her self-esteem up. Studies show that young ladies who are involved in activities other than school and television will delay intercourse.
8) Learn the difference between talking to your daughter and preaching. Telling your daughter that she can come to you if she needs birth control, IS NOT the same as talking to her about sex. It is up to you to teach her about the emotional and physical implications of sexual activity. If you are a woman tell her about what it feels like afterwards, the early morning ho-stroll, how he makes you feel the day afterwards, and even the discharge that she can expect to run down her legs. Give her all of the information that the television, friends, and movies leave out.
9) Limit the amount of television she watches. Television creates a fantasy in her mind of fancy cars, sex, good music, and lots of money. Young people who watch excessive amounts of television will have sex at an earlier age and tend to have an unrealistic view as to what sex really consists of.
10) Let her know that each person she has sex with walks away with a piece of her. Years ago young ladies were taught that the vagina was a sacred area intended to be shared with only 1 special person. This is a dying concept but it needs to make a comeback. Start in the early years when you give her a bath by telling her everyday that her vagina is a special area and that she should not let anyone touch it. That type of information will travel with her into her adolescent and adult years. There’s a great children’s book called, My Body Is Private, by Linda Walvoord Girard and Rodney Pate.
11) If you find evidence that she has been molested. Take the information seriously, let her know that you believe and support her, and GET HELP! There are trained professionals that can and will assist you in this area. If she does not get help she might battle with issues of hypersexuality and poor self-esteem.