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Please help!  I have been dating a very handsome and masculine man for the past 2 years. Recently I have heard rumors that he is gay.  One of my friends has even called him a homothug.  Is there such a thing?  He doesn’t look gay!  What should I do?

You ABSOLUTELY can’t tell that someone is gay based on how they look.  Sometimes the most masculine men as well as some of the most feminine women, will like to have sex with members of the same-sex.  (Visit our section on Bisexuality 101 to understand how someone can be attracted to members of the same as well as members of the opposite sex.)  It sounds as if you have enough evidence to assume that some of the rumors you have heard might be true.

If you care about this guy and you want to continue the relationship, bring him to DrRachael.com to complete our Bisexuality Survey.  You can do the survey together and discuss the responses.  This will give you the opportunity to confront him in a non-threatening environment.   Once you have him on the site, make sure you visit our section on Coming Out to Your Partner.  He might not read it in your presence, but maybe he will check it out later.

I have created a guide to define the different terms that some use to define male and female bisexuals.  I hope this helps!

A homo-thug is a man who maintains a very masculine exterior and is sexually attracted to other men.  An example of a homo-thug is a man who looks and dresses like 50 Cent but likes to have sex with men

The word Queen is used in reference to a man with a feminine exterior.  An example of a queen is RuPaul or America’s Top Model’s Ms. J.

Butch or Stud is a term used to describe a lesbian who takes on masculine characteristics.

Femme or the term Lipstick-Lesbians are generic terms that refer to feminine lesbians.

The term metrosexual describes a man who spends lots of energy to look almost perfect.  He spends a lot of money on a number of different hair-products, shoes, and clothing.  The sky is the limit when it comes to himself!  This term has absolutely nothing to do with his sexuality.