Easy Ways to Turn Them Down Graciously
No matter how cute he/she is, that does not mean you want to have sex with them. So here are some things to help you get the strength to turn them down. It’ll take some practice, but after you get good at it, you will never be in a strange situation again.
HOW THE CONVERSATION WILL GO
Tell the person how you feel about them. Be honest and open. If you really do care about them, but you are not ready, tell them. If they try to make you feel guilty about it, say something like,
“I will not listen to you because you are trying to make me feel bad about my decision. But, I am glad that we had the chance to discuss this, because now I know that you don’t really care about me, because if you cared, you would respect my decision.”
The other person will probably back off at this point and try to convince you that they really do care. Whatever you do at this point, please stand by your original decision. If you give in now, your partner will lose respect for you. Remember, QUEENS, PRINCESSES and KINGS, must be respected!!!
If you are not attracted to the person, tell them something like “I am not attracted to you in a sexual way.” Once you say this, you need to make any other conversation short and quick. No one takes rejection well. After you have said this, there is no reason to stick around. Say your good-byes.
In neither one of these situations should you try and make the other person feel better by kissing and stroking them. This confuses your “No!!” message. If you say No, you should act like you mean No! If you do not take my advice on this one, you might find yourself in a dangerous situation. So keep it simple. No kissing or rubbing, just No!
ALWAYS MAKE A QUICK EXIT
So, you have told the other person that you don’t want to have sex. You would think that the hard part is over, but not yet. You have to remember that you are not clear and free of the situation until you LEAVE. Even if it is someone that you feel comfortable with, you still need to exit.
Why do you need to leave? Well, because you do not know what the other person is thinking, and you do not want to know. If you leave and the person has a day or so to deal with the rejection, the two of you might be able to pick up where you left off. If you do not give them some time to deal with the fact that you have said No, they might be angry, sad, or even hurt. Just remember that this is not your problem. You have to focus on yourself.
After you leave, do not call them to check on them, wait until they call you. If he or she never calls, just be even more glad that you did not have sex with them. People who truly care about you will respect and understand your decision to abstain from sex, and will continue to call you even if you are not giving it up!!!
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP
Did you know that even if you have had sex before, you can still choose to be abstinent (not have sex). You should never feel bad if you say yes one time and no another . . .EVEN IF IT IS TO THE SAME PERSON!!! Sex is about choices. You have a choice to do it or not to do it. If you are going to do it, you need to make sure that you practice Safer Sex. But if you choose not to do it, that is even better. PRINCESSES, QUEENS, and KINGS tend to know that they are important to the world, and they tend to be very picky about sex. So, of course I expect you guys to be strong and picky.
PLAN AHEAD:
OK, one little reminder. . . If you make out with someone, give a hand job, or even have oral sex with someone, you do not have to go all the way with them. I do suggest, however, that you tell your partner AHEAD OF TIME that you will not be having sex with them. This way they will understand that you guys are just messing around.
I must caution you. It will be much harder for someone to understand and respect that you have said No if your mouth is on their penis or vagina.
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