Challenge Day 28 – Don’t Wallow In It

by Dr. Rachael

by Dr. Rachael

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Whether it’s a breakup, a missed opportunity, death of a loved one, an awful accident, or a lost job, life is filled with highs and lows that we all have to navigate through.  The best way to handle these major blows is to give yourself a time-frame to allow yourself to wallow in misery, and when that time is up you must give up the self-pity.  It is important to take time to let the emotions flood through you and to heal emotionally, but don’t get stuck.

When my sister Rebekkah passed my immediate thoughts

When my sister Rebekkah passed my immediate thoughts were that I would die too.  For the first couple weeks I found it hard to even move.  Everything inside and outside of my body ached.  At the time I was the medical director at Westville Correctional Facility, I had our family business, our medicine practice, radio spots, and I was doing local Chicago media.  I knew I couldn’t function well enough at the time to keep doing all of that, so I quit everything except for the family business, I started back seeing my patients and my sister’s patients two weeks later, and I gave myself exactly a year off from my other careers to give myself time to get it together.  My end wallow date was April 19th the following year.

The last thing you want to do is get stuck

The last thing you want to do is get stuck in your own pity-party.  Life goes on and the longer you stay still, the harder it is to catch up.  After my wallow date I hit the ground running!

So for whatever plagues you, set a realistic deadline.  Cry, scream, eat whatever you like, use it as a crutch, self-soothe, be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to do during that time period, but when that deadline hits, turn off the faucet of tears, push away the victim-role, and keep it moving.  You cannot change what happened and moping will not help.  You have to move on.  If you do this and still find yourself completely paralyzed in life and stuck in a depressed state, it’s time to reach out for professional help.  Never suffer in silence.

So today and every day of the #30DaySuccessChallenge don’t wallow in it.  Thank me later : )

Article by

Rachael L. Ross
MD, PhDAs a family doctor and a sexologist.

Dr. Rachael Ross has been heralded as “The next Dr. Ruth, the nationally renowned sexual therapist who pioneered frank sex talk.” Chicago Tribune. Dr. Rachael earned her M.D. from Meharry Medical College and her Ph.D. from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, along with a B.A. from Vanderbilt University, where she studied anthropology.

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