Challenge Day 17 – Stop Complaining So Damn Much!

by Dr. Rachael

by Dr. Rachael

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One of my friends told me the other day that her 3 yr old daughter put on her snow suit, shook about, and said, ‘look mama, I look fat just like you!’ Immediately my stunned friend felt hurt and asked her, ‘where did you hear that?’ and to her surprise (not mine because I hear her say it all the time), she said, “You mama!  You say it all the time!”

You’ve no doubt done it too.  I look fat.  I feel old.  It’s too cold.  I hate my hair.  I have nothing to wear.  I hate my job. I have no money.  The problem with complaining is that it accomplishes absolutely nothing.  If you don’t have a plan in place to change something, or it is beyond your control to do so, you have to deal with it.  You must put a plan in place to fix it or change how your brain feels about it, because idle complaints get you absolutely nowhere.

Stop Complaining So Damn Much

When you feel fat, instead of complaining day in and out about it, change your eating habits and exercise.  You hate your job?  Get a LinkedIn account and start networking and looking for another one.  You have no money?  Start budgeting.  It’s too cold outside?  Wear more layers.  By incessantly broadcasting to the universe your complaints, all you do is irritate the people around you, set terrible examples, and get no closer to changing anything.  Sadly the people around you have  heard those negative comments a thousand times and have witnessed you do absolutely nothing about them.

When you complain you push positive energy away and end up drawn towards negative energy.  When you do it in groups of people, you become Debbie Downer to some, but to others they love it because now they have someone to wallow in misery with.

Let’s take it one step further

Let’s take it one step further, if you complain all day long about things that you cannot change, pay attention to what happens.  The kids are getting on my nerves.  The bus was late this morning.  My food was cold today when I got it.  The SOTU address cut off part of my favorite show, etc.  By the end of the week you have complained and complained about things you had no control over.  When you have so much that you are dissatisfied about, yet have knowledge of the fact that you cannot change any of them, it builds up and becomes additive.  You begin to feel like you have no control over anything.   You get sad, depressed, and things start to feel hopeless.   Now you have become a victim (in your mind).   All of this builds up over time and before you know it, you have become the one in the room that brings a dark cloud wherever you go.  You’ve transformed into Debbie-complaining-all-the-time-Downer.

Maya Angelou said it best, ‘what you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  Don’t complain.’

So on this day of the #30DaySuccessChallenge and every other day, when you feel it coming on, stop yourself.  Stop Complaining & Start Doing. Thank me later : )

Article by

Rachael L. Ross
MD, PhDAs a family doctor and a sexologist.

Dr. Rachael Ross has been heralded as “The next Dr. Ruth, the nationally renowned sexual therapist who pioneered frank sex talk.” Chicago Tribune. Dr. Rachael earned her M.D. from Meharry Medical College and her Ph.D. from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, along with a B.A. from Vanderbilt University, where she studied anthropology.

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