MOVING PAST THE AFFAIR 1) Reveal The WHOLE Truth. This is an important step in the healing process. Tell the complete truth but leave out all of the extra details (ex: how big his penis was, the different ways she gave you head, etc.). If you do not tell him/her everything, he/she will find out anyway. So if you lie about when it started, how the two of you met, or even the places you went, he/she will become Inspector Gadget and will ultimately discover the truth.
If you get caught in a lie after the affair has been uncovered, it will be extremely difficult for him/her to EVER trust you again.
2) Acknowledge The Hurt Feelings That BOTH of You Share. When someone cheats it is often easier to blame each other for the pain that you both experience. Both of you have to understand that you have equally been wounded. You have to be at this place in order to begin the process of rebuilding