Hand Job/Erotic Massage

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There are more ways to please a man then just letting him put it in.  The hand-job is an underutilized object of foreplay.  A lot of women think of it as something that you stop doing once you have lost your virginity.

Oftentimes couples get so wrapped up in penetration that they forget the unique pleasure of the hand-jobs.  A lot of things can be accomplished with a finely tuned hand-job.

When you talk to professional sex workers about oral sex (blow-jobs), some will tell you that they don’t do them, instead they pretend to do them.  They give fake blow-jobs and still manage to get paid blow-job prices for what is in actuality, a professional hand-job.

So for those moments when your body cannot take another thrust, when you have a headache and the red tide is in full flow, or even when you just don’t feel like it; you have options!  Make sure that you don’t have any cuts or sores on your hands.  If so, consider using a latex glove, the other hand, or just avoid the fluid altogether.

1)   Imagine that you carry around 2 million dollars worth of jewelry on a day to day basis.  That is how men feel about their penises.  You will instantly make them harder and firmer if, when you touch it, you act like you KNOW that what you’re handling is one of life’s most precious jewels.

2)   Be gentle and firm at the same time.  Believe it or not, a man’s penis is very sensitive.  So if you have a ring on, take it off; if your hands are dry, use some lotion.  Take it out and look at it.  Give it a longing gaze.  This will let him know his powerful one has turned you on, and it will give you the chance to scope it out for herpes or genital warts.

3)   Keep size in mind.  If his penis is wider than your hand, you might need to use two hands.  Your goal should be to make sure that during your hand job, you make sure that no parts of his penis feel left out.

4)   A hand-job is just a name.  You should not look or act like you are at your job.  He should feel like there is nothing in life that you would rather do at the moment besides caress his penis.  .  .You might have to embellish a little bit, but it’s all about perception.

5)   It is not all about jacking and jerking.  Your fingers and hand movements should be smooth and continuous.  Run your fingers from his testicles (balls) up to the head of his penis.  Move your hands with confidence.  Confidence is sexy and hesitancy is not!

6)   Know your areas!  The glans of the penis ( rim / the edge of the part that looks like a mushroom) is a very sensitive area.  Wrap you hand around the rim and turn your hand like you’re trying to unscrew the top off of a bottle of soda.  Use this turning motion as you slide you hand up and down the shaft of his penis from the tip to the base.  It will drive him nuts.  He might not be able to handle it, but it’ll be in a good way.

7)   Eventually some pre-cum might come out.  Pre-cum is the little bit of liquid that comes out of the penis when some men are turned on.  Use the pre-cum as lubrication for your hand-job.  If there isn’t any present, don’t be afraid to use extra lubrication.  If you use extra lubrication, rub your hands together before you put it on his penis.  This will warm the lubricant up first so that it wont be too cold to enjoy. A dry hand job will not go over well and you will have a hard time gliding up and down his penis with a dry hand, so by all means, use something.

8)   If you plan on having penetrative sex (penis to vagina or penis to anus/butt hole) the you should use water-based lubricant instead of lotion, Vaseline, or baby oil.  Oily products will break down the condoms that you will use for your safer sex activity.

9)   His testicles (balls) are sensitive so don’t forget about them.  Make a cup with your hands and let them rest gently in the cup.  Bring the cup up to the shaft of his penis and rub them up from the base of his penis up to the middle.  Be gentle with them, and by all means, don’t squeeze.

10) Create an infinite hole.  You can do lots of fancy tricks with your hands.  Make a circle with your hand and place it around the head of his penis.  Firmly (with lubrication in place) run your hand from the head to the middle of his penis.  As soon as your hand gets to the middle of the shaft, start from his head with the other hand.  It will feel like his penis is entering an endless hole.  Once you get coordinated and find your rhythm, get jazzy with it and combine the up and down movements with a slight twisting motion.  You can do the same thing by starting at the base of his penis and moving upward.

11) Use both hands and alternate movements.  Make circles with your hands and place one at the head and the other at the base.  When your two hands meet up in the center, move them away from each other in opposite directions.  The one that goes up should move completely over the head of the penis.  Keep in mind that the head of his penis is one of his most sensitive areas, so don’t ignore it.


As a medical doctor and a sexologist, Dr. Rachael Ross has been heralded by the Chicago Tribune as the next Dr. Ruth, the nationally renowned sexual therapist who pioneered frank sex talk.

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